Proverbs 4:20–23
My son, attend to my words; incline your ear unto my sayings.
Let them not depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your heart.
For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.
Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
The heart is the very core of the human soul. It is the control center or, in computer lingo, “the motherboard” of the system. The mind and the will are directed by the heart. To put it more plainly, the heart is that part of us that loves and hates. We are all familiar with loving and hating, and so we are quite sure that these sentiments are arising out of the heart. A pastor or teacher who is not loved will generally not be accepted or believed regardless of how much sense he makes or how rational his arguments. People reject God’s Word because they are embittered against Him. Their problem is more with the heart than with the head. Thus, the entire direction of a human life is set by what a person loves and hates. To love the wrong things will end with embracing deceptions and walking in the wrong path.
“Keep my words in the midst of your heart.” A father and teacher may very well say, “Love me and love my words. Believe me and believe my words.” But how do the instructions of wisdom make it from the ear to the head, and then to the heart? If the Word of God does not sink into the heart, there can be no true faith or change of life. The only way in which the Word of God can be truly received in the heart (that eight-inch journey from head to heart) is for it to be embraced, loved, cherished, and appreciated. Once in the heart, these words of wisdom are not soon forgotten. They will direct the mind and life. With the heart man loves, and with the heart man believes in Jesus Christ, the Savior of God (Rom. 10:10).
What are these words to be so embraced in the heart? Fear God. Trust Him. Believe in Jesus. Love God and receive His corrections. Love your neighbor as yourself. Mere mental assent to these lessons, or mindless recitations of the propositions for the benefit of others are not enough. They must be believed in the heart.
Many religions live out an external form of religion without a heartdeep love for God and His words. A missionary was traveling in a car with several Yemeni Muslims during the month of Ramadan. As the car drove down into a valley, the sun disappeared over the horizon, and the men quickly grabbed their food and consumed as much as possible until the car topped the hill where the setting sun was once more visible. Religious nations like Yemen and Afghanistan are extremely fastidious about external forms, yet these also turn out to be the most dangerous nations on earth. Muslim countries also rank the highest on extreme pornography usage. Most religions enforce external compliance to religious rules, which men are happy to observe. But to love God and love His words, and to embrace the spirit of His law in the heart—that is another matter entirely!
Suppose a Christian mother finds herself in a world of extreme sexual sin and immodesty, and she happens to hear a message about modesty for the first time—and of course, the Word of God does require modesty of heart and external dress (1 Tim. 2:9; 1 Pet. 3:3-4). She copies down the “twelve principles” relating to the modesty of dress; and upon returning home, she quickly implements the standards with her three daughters. Later, the four ladies are shopping at the local mall, and they come upon several teenage girls who apparently missed the workshop on modesty. The mother points to the scantily clad assembly and whispers to her little brood, “Well now, look at how those girls strut their stuff! How immodest can you get?” The message received by her daughters is potent: “Look at us! We’re modest and they’re not.” At this point, it is most helpful to recall that modesty is humility. So now the mother has enforced the appearance of modesty on the outside and the wretched spirit of immodesty in the heart. While our children’s (and our) behavior and external appearance is of some import, the condition of the heart is what matters. This is our highest concern.
Focusing the training of children upon complying with a few external standards governing manners and dress cannot produce real fruit in the long run. But hearts full of humility, reverence for God, and love for God will naturally overflow into humble obedience and lifelong service to Him for the rest of their lives. Sincere Christian parents will be more interested in the hearts of their children—discerning what they love or what they hate, what they value and what they find contemptible.
“Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life.” That is to say, watch your heart! What are the things the heart loves or hates? And, why? Why is there such a draw to the praise of men? Why does this young man despise his mother who most recently offered him a correction? Why should we be more likely to embrace this teaching over some other? What changes are creeping into the recesses of the heart? Is there a bitterness toward God forming inside, or has this been displaced by gratitude for His forgiveness of sins?
Where there is corruption and death in the heart, these will eventually manifest itself in the rest of life. But where our hearts are filled with the love of God and love for others, that love will flow like a river of living water over every relationship and every area of our lives.
1. How is our family doing with keeping the heart with all diligence? Are we more focused on externals or the internal motivations of the heart? Which do you think is more difficult—modifying external behavior or shepherding the heart of a child?
2. Are schools more focused on the heart of a child or his external behavior? What about parents?
3. Suppose a child was trained to honor his parents in many outward forms, but there was never a real honor for his parents in his heart. Do you think that dishonor would eventually reveal itself?