Proverbs 5:1–5
My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow your ear to my understanding:
That you may regard discretion, and that your lips may keep knowledge.
For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:
But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.
Once more the wise father pleads with his son to listen to the most crucial lessons for his life. “My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow your ear to my understanding: that you may regard discretion, and that your lips may keep knowledge.” Most young men are not aware of their own sinful condition, and the real potential damage of which they are capable. They have it within themselves to ruin their lives. The critical difference between that young man who ruins his life and the wise son is a matter of humility and a willingness to bow an ear to the knowledge shared by a father or mother. This “attending to wisdom” is to focus, to lean in, and to look the teacher in the eye. He demonstrates genuine interest and receives what the instructor has to say. Before the novice paratrooper takes a leap out of an airplane, he must carefully listen to all the instructor has said. He reviews his notes over and over again. Receiving these crucial pointers calls for aggressive attention on the part of the learner.
Now here, the wise father of the Proverbs initiates another series of warnings for his boy about the loose and uncommitted woman. Most definitely, every young man will encounter this woman almost as soon as he begins to notice the opposite sex. Other young men will introduce him to the seductive woman through images. The internet is full of them. The majority of men in our society are entrapped by her—multiple statistical studies indicate that between 80% and 95% of men are compromised in this area. Thus, very few young men hear the warnings and extremely few will pay attention to them.
Among the lessons a father must convey to his son, a right view of sexuality must be a regular topic of conversation. Discipleship in this area allows no room for hypocrisy, lack of transparency, sneakiness, or avoidance of the topic. Rather, these conversations call for authentic relationship, deep trust, and upfront and frank conversations. If the teacher himself is giving way to the temptress, he is in no position to provide guidance to anyone else.
During previous eras in human history, social restraints would have limited the availability to licentious (sexual) sins. Governments would put adulterers and adulteresses to death. There were severe restrictions on divorce. Most stable societies had wisdom enough to suppress perversions, including that contained in foul literature. They would remain in the far recesses of “the closet.” These restraints have all gone out the window since the 1960s. God’s common grace which provided for social stability is almost all gone now. The only access young men have to sound wisdom is within the context of a faithful church, and there are few of these left. For any to listen to sound wisdom is entirely dependent on the supernatural work of the Holy Spirit in the hearts of men. A remnant may yet be preserved.
Whether the young man lived in Egypt in 1900 BC, on a South Pacific island in 1840, or in Chicago in 2024, this warning from the Proverbs carries equal import and relevance. He must stay away from this woman.
“For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil.”
The temptation to lust comes by magazine covers, advertisements, movies, concerts, shopping centers, the workplace, schools, and church. Several characteristics mark the temptress. She is smooth. She has no awkwardness or hesitation—she talks a smooth talk. She is self-assured, self-confident, and apparently guilt-free. She knows how to make a young man feel good when her eyes meet his and when she speaks to him. For men who would rather not hassle with complicated relationships, she presents herself as an easy catch. Her sales pitch is flawless. She carefully arranges her make-up, hair, and dress to present a glamorous and seductive image that will appeal to her target market. The brochure is high-class and glossy, intended to attract the lust of the eyes and excite the lusts of the flesh among young men.
But the entire presentation is a big lie. Such easy pleasure yields nothing but pain, the day after. Whoever tangles with this woman will have more problems than he could have ever imagined. As much as this young man would commit himself to avoid sticking his hand in a running blender, he must also commit to avoiding this woman. Temptation presents itself as inviting and rewarding at the outset. A chocolate-covered cockroach tastes pretty sweet at first; but immediately afterwards, the mouth fills with one nasty, bitter bug.
“But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.” A few adulteresses and adulterers repent, but not many. This describes what the end looks like for the people of this world. The party life of intoxication and sexual promiscuity ends in death and disaster. The sexually immoral life is capped off with an early death or a long and drawn-out aging filled with bitterness, regrets, unfulfilled hopes, and frustration. After that comes an eternity in hellfire. There is no use arguing with the Word of God, which guarantees that “the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone: which is the second death” (Rev. 21:8).
1. Where might a young man find women who are loose and uncommitted? Could some of these women come out of Christian homes?
2. Do you find all sorts of temptations like the “chocolate-covered cockroach”? If you gave in, how did you feel after you sinned?
3. How might a young woman avoid becoming one of these temptresses?