It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
There is a slight difference between these words and those contained in verse nine above. This woman is angry. Discontentment and contention is one thing, but add anger to that and you have a real problem on your hands. Whether it is an angry man or an angry woman, both are a scourge to any home. They do, however, take on different forms in men and women. For a woman, anger plays itself out through cutting, wounding words or by trying to manipulate emotions in those around her. If this kind of behavior continues unchecked, it will result in disastrous effects on relationships and families.
Often, a young girl who suffered a bad relationship with her own father will become an angry, bitter woman in her adult years. She may have been scorned by her father, or never felt any true love and affection from him. He may have been insensitive and rude, even slamming the door in her face. Of course, none of these circumstances would excuse the sin of her anger, but they may have created an environment in which great colonies of anger bacteria could multiply.
The first step to solving the anger problem is to confess the sin and the horrible effects of it to those whom you have offended. Identify all the roots of it, including all those thoughts and sentiments that disturb the peace and create turmoil in your heart. Ask yourself, “Why do I get so upset about everything? Why can’t I accept the inconveniences and trials God brings to me with contentment, peace, and joy?” Where is your hope for eternal life? Where is your faith? Why do you want to control everything and everybody around you? Can’t you be satisfied with everything being under God’s control?
For related commentary, reference Proverbs 21:9.
There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spends it up.
Several verses earlier, we were warned not to “love” oil. At the time these wise sayings were first recorded, such possessions were considered luxuries, as it would take a fair amount of work to extract medicinal or cosmetic oils out of plants. How does this then comport with the instruction not to “love oil”? Today our materialistic culture is still as infatuated with cosmetic cologne as they were 4,000 years ago. It is only that we have better packaging today, along with four-foot glamour photographs of sensuous women advertising the perfumes. But you see, these advertisements are geared for those whose hearts are drawn to these things for their own pleasure. Still, there is nothing essentially sinful or evil about perfumes and colognes, gold and silver, houses and cars, or anything else that is either useful or valued by humans. The difference between the wise man and the foolish man is just this: the foolish man is a consumer. He consumes everything he earns because he is a pleasure addict. He would have a hard time agreeing with the Apostle Paul, “Having food and clothing, therewith to be content.” Conversely, the wise man conserves what he has, and doesn’t need to use it all up on himself. He saves for a rainy day. He waits until he finds somebody truly in need, and uses his goods to help them in the best way he can. Herein is some of the wisest financial advice you will ever find. Our children must learn self-control in finances, and good wisdom in saving their investments. Material riches and investments are only gifts to be employed in the service of Christ, to the glory of God. We hold them in one position only until we find a better place where they might be employed for the good of the kingdom of God! Often we do use our goods to take care of our bodies, feed our families, and put a roof over our heads. But even this must be for the good of the kingdom of God and its righteousness (Matt. 6:33). We may hold it in the form of gold or silver for awhile, but eventually, we will transfer the value into a business that builds homes or manufactures products. Or we will give it to our children to build households for the kingdom, or pass it along to ministries that are engaged in the worthwhile project of discipling the nations (Matt. 28:18–20).
While there are the consumers who worship at the feet of the material-god, don’t forget there are also those who worship the things they treasure up in their homes and savings accounts. Either way, we are dealing with the sin of idolatry. Spendthrifts and misers are both idolaters. A balanced sense of materials will only come when our chief delight and the object of our worship and service is God Himself.
1. What are the various ways a woman might express anger?
2. How might you deal with the problem of anger in your life?
3. Why is it important to save some wealth in your home? At what point can you say that you are being stingy with your things? How do we avoid idolatry in relation to our material things?